The Attack of the Romany Creams

A recent survey in the Uk has revealed that about 50% of the British population, the number being close to 25 million people have been injured in a tea break. Tea break constitutes, eating biscuits, dunking biscuits, and generally participating in the time honoured tradition of 4pm cuppa chai indulgence.

Apparently 500 people had been hospitalised, and the most dangerous of all the biscuits was without doubt, the "man eating" Custard Cream, with the "least likely to cause damage" award going hands down to the Jaffa Cake.

Injuries caused by sticking biscuits into ones eye, a pet biting a hand with a biscuit in it, burning ones finger tips on the beverage. Give me a break...it's tea!

Its a good thing that we in South Africa have not, as yet, been exposed to the unpredictably savage antics of the Marie Biscuit, or the cruel intentions of the Ouma Rusk (especially the Muesli flavour), as there would be far more people like Brandon Huntley fleeing the fair weather of the Cape Penninsula for fear of losing a limb to a gang of rampant rusks or malevolent Chocolate Romany Creams.

We are, as cyclists, always moaning about bad driving, but I'm so glad that these are the least of the world's worries and that there are far more sinister forces at work. Can you imagine if Julius Malema got onto this, it would be carnage. There would be racist remarks about the fact that the gang of Chocolate Eclairs, were really run by the white stuff in the centre and that all the brown chocolate on the outside did, was take the first impact of an attack.

The rediculousness of the Poms knows no bounds, and only a "verlep" bunch of total under achievers would come up with a stat on injuries done by biscuit eating and the much raucous sipping of tea in the late afternoon. Sad bastards..